Gone are the days of top hat wearing robber barons and steel tycoons sipping port and lamenting the rise of organized labor.  Despite its newfound popularity, Port is still synonomous with the long forgotten gilded age and the occasional 55-year old ex-frat bag found in cigar bars. This presents many problems and important questions for the aspiring port drinker. When do you drink port? Can you shake the weird image? Who are you trying to impress anyway?

The answers are frequently, naturally and everyone.

Sadly, I cant recommend DOW’s as a good option.

First, the name DOW (from James R. Dow) elicits images of drinking dryer sheets.  DOW’s sounds like a good all purpose cleaner, not a fine dessert wine. Of course, a name is easily forgiven for great taste or value. Again, Dow’s fails. Barely distinguishable from Taylor’s port, DOW’s is too watery and has a harsh finish. You may recognize Taylor’s as the preferred choice for cooking wine.  How do I know what cooking port tastes like you ask? Suffice it to say, there have been moments of doubt and pain.

The brandy, or distilled grape spirits added to stop the fermentation process, shows too prominently in DOW’s. Further, it lacks the smooth, syrupy, port texture that I prefer to sip either alone or with desert. Priced at around $18, it is not a bad value but Fonseca or Graham’s Six Grapes remain better quality for the value.

DOW’s LBV 2001- C

This well priced Zinfandel makes an awkward first impression. Apparently, Rosenblum decided that they should employ a similar strategy to the Mr. Yuk campaign and ask the nations kindergarteners to give up recess to finger paint them a label. The small, water-color image shows a plow sitting astride a vineyard with some sort of monastery or Irish orphanage in the distance. Undesirable. Label…..F.

Despite the challenged aesthetics, my eye was drawn to the sticky, white square pasted on the neck of the bottle that said “$12.” I had done well at Suffolk Downs on this particular day and felt that my successful wager on the four-year old thoroughbred “Sneaky Storm” in the 6^th race warranted a celebration. Value…..A

The XXX Cuvee marks Rosenblum’s 30^th anniversary and is a fantastic bargain. Notably fruity, with a blend of 88% Zinfandel and 12% petit syrah, this wine has a complex body and smooth finish. It can easily be enjoyed with most foods or alone. I recently served the XXX Cuvee with braised lamb shanks and it was fantastic. This is a versatile wine that could accompany lamb as easily as it could most of the Wendy’s Super value menu. Thick with rich fruit tastes but smooth and easy to drinks. Very versatile! Taste…….B+

While an excellent value, may I recommend discretion when serving the Rosenblum ZInfandel at a dinner gathering. You don’t want to be associated with the label. Pour the bottle in an impressive decanter and dare your guests to ask what kind of wine it is. Should you not own a decanter, use a clean flower vase and attempt to pass it off as all the rage with the kids these days. If you are truly desperate, use a razor blade and a 50/50 solution of rubbing alcohol and water to remove the label. Claim you brought it home from Napa on your most recent visit and forgot who made it.

MB Tilford is a semi regular contributor to Tavola Rossa. Lacking the trappings of a formal wine education, he has stayed within his comfort zone and has almost exclusively enjoyed super tuscans. However, the weakening dollar, questionable european labor practices and a prolonged graduate education has forced him to seek out the high quality value wines. Join him (semi regularly) in his hunt to separate the gold from the myrrh.